Went to Dalat this past weekend.
Met so many Russians. I have a new life dilemma. Would the transiberian
railroad outweigh all the Russians I’d
inevitably encounter? O well, I have
a lot of time to think about it. Russians are just as bad as you’d expect.
Well, maybe worse. One of them had the foulest smelling odor that had ever
originated from a human being. Libby literally lifted my arm up to smell my
armpits and I was like nope, it’s that dirty Slav something like 5 meters in front of us. I didn’t know BO
could waft so far. They all obviously had the archetypical Russian scowl on
their faces. I can’t really blame them though; they all had to wear lanyards
with corresponding numbers identifying which tour bus they belonged to which
had to be humiliating (think “J 04”. Again though, we can’t blame them for
signing up for these enormous bus tours, Putin’s been telling them which bus to
get on for years, and before that it was Stalin, and before that they were
probably serfs. The saddest part of all was that none of these tour
destinations were worth going to in the first place. There were some pretty
waterfalls, nothing extraordinary, but the Vietnamese had managed to pimp out
these natural features in a Disney-land esque manner. No, Disneyland is a
little generous, think more county-fair accoutrements surrounding the 30 foot
waterfall. Shoot the bow and arrow (50 cents), see the gem museum (1 dollar),
ride the elephants (5 dollars) or ostriches around in a circle. Yes, Elephants
and ostriches are cool, but I’m no animal-rights activists and even I felt bad
for those poor Elephants and ostriches. Which got me thinking, Russia must be
really f****** ugly to attract
literal busloads of their people to come and take in these natural spectacles.
(ps-Libby does not approve of this
stereotypical and narrow minded view on Russians)
(pps-Andrew again, am being
completely open-minded…only need to meet a
single kind and thoughtful Russian to change my opinion of the lot of
them…maybe you will say, I know plenty of nice Russian-Americans to which I will say, same here, but they are all north of
80% American. It would be like me being sympathetic to Poland annexing a little
sliver of Russia… then again I think the whole world would be supportive of
having a little less Russia in the world. My Australian friend had a perfect
expression- “Years ago there used to just be two groups here- Vietnamese and
Foreigners… Now there are Foreigners, Vietnamese and Russians.”)
There was one waterfall worth going
to see. The biggest and best one happened to be 40 km away which thankfully was
too far for the Russian tour buses to reach. It was about an hour, hour and a
half motorbike ride. I thought the whole ride was going to be through rolling
hills and fields of wild flowers. Unfortunately, the hills were only for the
first 8 km and the flowers were only for the last 8 km. The rest of the drive
was through “quaint” countryside towns. The only problem with developing
countries is that country side towns aren’t quaint. They are afflicted with
corrugated metal roofing and plastic trash everywhere. It’s okay though, it was
good to get a feel for the heart of Vietnam. I wouldn’t recommend it.
You’re probably starting to think
we hated Dalat. By no means did we hate it, it just wasn’t this picture-perfect
fairy tale I had started to conjure up in my head as the days of suffocating
and smog-filled Saigon heat wore on us before we left. On top of that I had to
teach the whole weekend while being sick. Even in tip-top physical shape,
teaching all weekend drains everything out of you so needless to say I was
drained around Saturday afternoon, and felt like I was crawling on my hands and
knees for the next 4 or 5 classes. And to top it all off we were met Sunday
morning with a flat tire and had to take a taxi to work and fix the flat during
lunch. And to top off the topper off I had to teach my nightmare class twice
that weekend (in place of the Vietnamese teacher who teaches the other half) and
just to give a little snapshot they were pulling each other’s pants down this
weekend. There are mechanics on almost every corner so all in all the flat was
a minor inconvenience, it was just the timing of it all. Finally to top the
weekend off, we had our Teacher’s Day banquet which is just a nice buffet
dinner…and the dance. We pulled off the dance quite well, everyone acknowledged
that our dance was the best, and in the only way they could make our dance
performance even more meaningless they didn’t even choose a winner this
year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For all I know, every dance team could be writing
about how they were the de facto
winners of the dance competition, damn it all! It looked pretty good on video,
but then again if we couldn’t make a 3 minute dance look good after FOUR hours
of practice a week for FIVE or SIX weeks maybe we should fly back home and cry.
The best thing about Dalat was the
weather. At times, it felt downright freezing, I think it got down to the mid
70’s at night, but I just told myself to think back to when my teeth were
chattering on the moto bike when I’m back melting in the Saigon heat. It didn’t
help that Libby unpacked my only pair of pants as a “space-saving” measure (I
purposely packed nylon sweatpants as a “space-saving” measure). She used a
combination of “you’re from Michigan,” and “its character building,” neither of
which seemed to stop my teeth from chattering. Her time will come. The first
place we stayed at had a hot-tub. It was amazing. It was actually the only
reason we stayed there. It was only open from 4-7 so of course I made Libby
dictate our whole itinerary to be back at the hot tub in time for 4 o clock
opening. OF course the hot tub wasn’t hot at 4 but the owner said the hot tub would heat up so we walked up the street
to get a bottle of the local Dalat wine. Our only prior experience with Dalat
wine was not a pleasant one, so we upgraded from the previous 2 dollar bottle
of wine to the Dalat Superior “vintage” which clocked in at 5 dollars. The hot
tub ended up heating up and the wine proved quite decent actually. It was a
striking contrast, here the French gave the Vietnamese amazing architecture,
drinkable wine, coffee, an interest in cheese, and what did the Russians give
them? Taught the Vietnamese how to totally disregard the concept of a line or queuing
up. The Vietnam War made a little more sense in my head after the trip to
Dalat. Anyways, stayed in the hot tub
for 2+ hours of course. The Vietnamese cuisine in Dalat isn’t noteworthy which
wasn’t a surprise as the Vietnamese cuisine in Dalat isn’t known for being
noteworthy (unlike Danang, Hanoi, Nha Trang, Hue). We had good fried rice in
Dalat, I will say that. The coffee shops/café’s on the other hand really held
their own. One of, if not the nicest
café I’ve been to in Vietnam was situated on the lake that Dalat encircles. The
café takes up a whole little peninsula and has beautiful grounds along with
lakeside views, really special. Across the café was the botanical gardens,
worth going to see for the Hyndrangeas as big as Libby’s head. The
“valley of love” which was supposed to have flowers equaling or even surpassing
the botanical gardens was not worth visiting. We did however get the **wonderful**
picture of Libby and I inside the oversized Dalat 2014 heart.
The French architecture was as
amazing as I’d hoped for. The only problem is that it is so scattered around
the city that it’s hard to get a single panorama of just French architecture
which would be beautiful… Instead you get glimpses of the rest of Dalat which
are quite a few notches below the 1920’s, 1930’s French Architecture. You’d
think the people in Dalat would have made more of an effort to evolve or simply
replicate the French architecture. I guess I’m forgetting that Vietnam’s entry
into the industrialized world is quite recent and that most of the “modern”
development has been limited to Saigon, Hanoi and most recently Danang. Ironically
the only spot to see just French architecture was in the resort Mr. LeCorgne so
graciously surprised us with for the last two nights of our Dalat street. Sweet
mother, it was both a blessing and a curse. Everything was so amazing it made the re-entry back to reality that much more
difficult. You forget how amazing a comfortable bed feels, Libby likened it to
a cloud-I concur. The pillows…did more for my neck than any massage in the past
6 months. And finally the bathtub. The best part about it was the limitless
supply of hot-water, which is RARE here in Vietnam. If you can’t tell I’m a
hot-water fiend which extends to but
is not limited to: hot springs, hot tubs, bath tubs (probably in that order). I
took 6 baths in two days, but who’s counting!
Speaking of counting, they are
exactly 9 weekends of teaching left before we say Sianora to those kids whom I
hold zero fond memories of (maybe I’m being a bit jaded, the kids who tell me
they love me are OK). We broke through the double digits of teaching weekends
left but don’t feel very accomplished about anything at this point haha. Coming
back from Dalat didn’t leave us very recharged and revitalized, rather it was
sort of like a wow, it really sucks back here. I feel like we are staring at
the beginning of the Bataan death march. At least I don’t have to work as much
as Libby. The cash-cow must’ve gotten tipped over in the middle of the night
because like a shooting star, he’s gone already. There are 3 scenarios for why
he left so abruptly. First and most likely, he was offended at Libby jacking up
the hourly rate by 50% from 20 to 30 dollars an hour. 2nd and also
likely, was that the looming spectre of her boyfriend (me) wasn’t seeming to go
away. Not surprisingly he canceled 2 days after he suddenly canceled at the
“movie-date” that included me. 3rd and least likely, was that he
somehow read about being called a proverbial cash cow and didn’t much
appreciate the nickname, though it’s for the best if number 3 proved correct because
that would just be creepy if he was google-searching Libby. Anyways, Libby is
still maintaining her sugar-momma breadwinning position because our friend at
work went back to the states for 6 weeks and Libby is subbing for her part-time
preschool job. I feel bad I’m pulling a little less of the weight but there’s
no debating I hate teaching much more than Libby does. It’s funny, most people
come here trying to escape the cubicle lifestyle (actually it’s usually more
like restaurant work but you get the picture) and here I am thinking a cubicle
surrounded by real adults doesn’t sound half-bad! After the “Teaching makes me
want to die-esque) excuse I get to use the “you’re about to be a poor graduate
student for the next years of your life” and finally my ace in the hole
rationalization card- “coming to teach English in Vietnam was your idea
ultimately.” I know in my heart of hearts our 3 month backpacking trip come
February will make it all worth it but crap. Also, to my brother who did this
whole teaching thing for a full year in Korea. I’ve met multiple people who’ve
been teaching in Korea before Vietnam and they all say it’s like Disney-land
and isn’t really like teaching in Korea. So at least I know he hasn’t bested me
in this instance, because that would unacceptable.
Back to triumphs, for the first
time, I was the directions-savior. I’m writing this blog post now while Libby
is at the pre-school. Well, she dropped me off at a coffee shop and 15 minutes
later she rushes back in in a panic and says she can’t find the pre-school and
she’s going to be late. I say, I know the way! And sure enough I found the
stupid thing. Honestly, if the aptitude tests in grade-school consisted of a
maze they might have a put me on the short bus. So I’m basking in triumph right
now. Well that’s all for now. ‘Till next time
(note: will append pictures soon!)
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